Friday, 12 September 2014

Heart too heart | agoraphobia and anxiety

Many of you now about my struggles with agoraphobia and anxiety, well latly its been really hard and i felt like i dont really want too go out because i have been struggling with my health, and i get really hot when i walk at a far distance and it makes me so anxious how red my face goes or how my face goes alittle sweaty, this has stoped me wanting too got out on my own again (and the face last time i went out the only way too my mums there was a load of work men and they blocked the only 'safe zone' around too my mums so i had too go all the way round by this time i just felt really out of my safe zone, and this has just made me back too square one again :(  im not writing this post for 'sympathy' i just really wanted too write about my agoraphobia and anxiety.. so lets think back too when i was a young teenager.

when i was younger (still the same) i was always walking around with my head on the floor, this was because i never liked looking up and seeing peoples who would laugh at me just because i was me! yep i have been bullied my whole teenage years, my dad decided too take me out of that school and wanted me too go too a school he went too when he was my age, i fitted in so well with all the people my own age! i was so happy i made friends with the popular girls i felt so happy! untill one stuppid morning! ( i wont be able too explain this story very well ) i was knocked over by a van, this is where my life changed forever, i dont remember the day, the morning or even what happend, i just remember finally waking up out of my cama 2 week later withh the most horriblist headach and body ache i have ever feet in my whole life, the nurse said i have very bad headdamage, thats why my head was hurting so much, i had too learn how too walk again, which is why i have such bad aches and pains in my body around the cold times and if i have too walk too much.. then after 4 months from school i came back too find out that the school was going too be closed down.. when i went back too school people were saying i was pushed? and would tell me what happend when i got knocked down, and some people even recorded it.

and ever since then i have just been very scared too go out on my own, and when i did something bad would always happen? like i have been ran over about 4 times, with mina injurys and this is when ive been on my own, so in my head when im on my own something bad was going too happen? but i have come along was since then and been going out on my own, but i just like too go out with somebody as i dont feel so afraid.. does that make sence?

do you have any types of agoraphobia and anxiety? how do you deal with it and how can you help other people with this very horrible illness.

lots of love.